Brilliant Bengali Women – Tanni Rahim

You all loved my first feature on Brilliant British-Bengali women (you can read Rahima’s story here), so here’s another, just for you. This time I speak to Tanni Rahim, a British Bengali woman born and raised in Kent who’s now living in London.  She has two children, and after 12 years of working in the City, Tanni took a career break to pursue a passion of writing and now runs a successful Instagram page, Tanni and her kids.

Tell us a bit about yourself…

I worked as an Executive Assistant at a law firm, and after the birth of my second child, I realised this isn’t what I want to do for the rest of my life.  So I decided to leave after maternity and that’s when I started to become active on Instagram.  I decided to start a blog to see where it would take me.  I like writing about mum life (the mum fails mainly!), inspirational material and also features on from small businesses.

What’s the most rewarding part of what you do? 

The most rewarding part has been making connections with people all over the world, and also finding some amazing small businesses that I would never have come across.  I love hearing about people starting their own businesses and encourage it greatly.  I find that when people pursue a line of work they are passionate about, they are more fulfilled in life.  The love from all the small businesses I have helped in various ways.

How do you balance it all (work, parenting, your time, etc)?

This is where Instagram is handy, as I can do it in between any downtime (which is mainly late evenings!)  I’m still figuring out what I want to do, but I have realised my love of writing.  Parenting has been tough lately, mainly due to lockdown and as my son is classed clinically vulnerable, we have had to do more indoor activities; this has resulted in him featuring in many posts and videos with me!

How did your life change after having kids in terms of career, identity, etc.?

I had two high risk pregnancies – my firstborn came at 27 weeks which was shocking but alhamdulillah he’s okay now.  Second time round I was high risk as I was told that she could come even earlier, but luckily she managed to hold on until 38 weeks.  I was pretty much on bed rest from 26 weeks when I left work.  My life has changed so much, I often wonder what I did with all that free time I had before kids!!  The lack of time to myself is what I struggle with the most.  This is where Instagram has helped so much.  Reading about other people going through similar things has made me feel like less of a failure as a mother.  I’m very Insta real and that is where I think a lot of people have related to my content.

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Do you think there is enough support out there in a societal level for Bengali women (especially after children) wanting to pursue their ambitions? 

I think a lot of the stigma around that stems from people who themselves were set limitations, especially in terms of being able to pursue their ambitions, and therefore demotivate others trying to do the same as they have been raised to think that it is something a woman should not be doing.  I feel nowadays with so much being online, there are a lot of people out there ready to support anyone willing to make a go of things, and surprisingly, you’ll get it from people you don’t even know more than the ones you do. 

There are a lot who will say your career is over after you have kids, but those that really want to have both will find a way.  The support may be lacking, and this is the test you’ll have to see if what you want to do is worth doing or not.  I was told I was wasting my time writing about random things, but then suddenly I’ve got 13.5k+ followers and have managed to monetise my work.  I’ve not even started to do what I really want to do so this is very encouraging.  

What advice would you have for other Bengali women looking to follow a similar path?

What I always say is to put yourself out there and the right people will find you.  Be your authentic self and you will attract the crowd that connect with you for who you are – and that is the greatest thing.  To be liked for exactly who you are and what you are trying to achieve.  Be honest in your work and admit mistakes.  Perfection is overrated.  Being real is where it’s at.

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