Take your son to work day…

This post is for the fellow mums out there who may be struggling balancing work/building a career, whilst raising small children. 

I almost didn’t take this picture. I’ve had my banner up in a library and had been meaning to pop over to take a pic but didn’t have the childcare. 

I talked myself out of making the short journey with my son so many times. Would it look unprofessional if I turn up with my four-year-old? Shouldn’t I be more presentable and picture-ready? Shouldn’t I have someone with me to take the photo?

However, I realised something. As much as I like to think of myself as a career woman, I am ALSO a mother. THIS IS MY NEW NORMAL. 

So I went with my son, let him play with all the toys in the library, then I took my photo, with him in the picture. And thankfully, librarians are some of the most accommodating people you’ll ever meet, so they didn’t mind at all. 

If I’m honest, after becoming a mum, I mourned my career. The career I carved in the corporate sector for over a decade. The career that levelled me up with my non-Muslim peers. The career I was so proud of, being a second generation British-Bengali.

For the longest time, I tried to do business as usual. Of course, I did everything around the kids, but I didn’t talk about the fact I have a full plate at home. I felt I still had to achieve. More to the point, and I think this stems from the society in which we live, I felt I had to do this despite being a mum. You know, the notion of doing it all, having it all. 

We are fed so many stories of success, which are aspirational, but can also create an unrealistic view for some of us. Not everyone’s situation or circumstances are the same. Not everyone has lots of childcare support they can tap into. Not everyone has children that slept through the night from birth. Not everyone has the same definition of success.

Right now, success for me looks like being able to have a career around my children. Whilst doing the school run. Whilst taking care of dinner and bedtime. Success for me is doing this whilst being a mum. 

So, to all you mums out there who are trying to make it work around very small children, know that everything you’re doing, every small step you take, is enough. And you are doing brilliantly. 

The pre-mum me would have had bigger goals and aspirations. The pre-mum me would have never taken her four-year-old to a ‘work thing.’ Also, the pre-mum we would’ve made sure she had a nice ironed shirt-dress and makeup for the photo. But that’s another thing with motherhood, boy, does it take away your vanity.